Guilt – unpardonable

Last week, I had to attend a family gathering, a celebration. On the eve of travelling to Chennai from Bengaluru, I had a sore throat. It seemed manageable… I didn’t have to do much talking during the event. So I figured I might as well meet my family in the opportunity that affords itself every alternate week (medium distance relationships). On arrival, I recollect a bout of cough and phlegm… harmless on any normal day. Something changed in the last kilometer of this trip and I now had a well established flu and maybe even fever.

Of late, summer has been arriving early each year. Early March now seems like midsummer.

There are a couple of people in my extended family who are autistic. I know the events in their baby-hood which led to that state for they were born healthy and with good response till their 6th month after birth. Both had mild flu followed by fever at the onset of summer.

Today, after 45 years, it is unfortunately difficult for them to integrate into society. With an unacknowledged sense of protection enduring as long as their parents endure, their journey forward seems lank. Their siblings (plural); happy, safe and secure in their little world, don’t want to tend to them. I have known and understood this right from the time it was possible for me understand these things.

Thanks to some medicines and few hours of rest, the fever was ruled out in a day. One week in, I’m still recovering from flu.

Sunday.. Show day… The event went off well. Saturday’s austerity for socializing with my family seemed well compensated on Sunday. After the event, I packed my bags and got back home in Bengaluru.

It’s sort of a tradition for the first kid of the family to be delivered at the wife’s mother’s place. Every alternate week I travel to Chennai to meet my wife and son(3 months old).

On Tuesday, my wife texted that my son was cranky and probably had flu.

Guilt – unpardonable.