This isn’t a religious or spiritual piece. But I know there are parallels in those spheres that can’t be sufficiently explained in words or thoughts with a reasonable sense of fulfillment.
So I’m going to make it short and hopefully write this one like a drop of sandalwood oil on a diffuser stick.
I have made many choices in my life, some impact only me and some impact my near and dear ones. Not all of them ended up with consequences that I imagined them to have. So there’s regret and frustration. But even under all that, is an unfulfilling feeling of guilt. Guilt that my choices have consequences that impede the choices others can make. This guilt is at the pits of my stomach. It makes me aware of its presence when I start thinking of moving to another locality to save some money on rent, but will also impact the school my children attend, and thereby the company they keep. It reminds me of already having deprived them from the doting and pampering affection of their grandparents when I moved to a different place for better education and job prospects-for myself. This guilt bullies me to find meaning and purpose.
In the choices and consequences that gloriously failed, there is also a thin silver lining that shows me the people who have stood by me. Allowing me to make those choices. Giving me a sense of safety and liberty. It warms and sweetens my experience of every interaction. It is an ever-present foundation that was laid by my parents when they were educating me through the trials and tribulations of life. It is a gift that keeps on giving and empowers. Gratitude is that gift which encourages me to stay the course of discovering my own meaning and purpose.
kskspeaking 